SAME-SEX MARRIAGE DESTROYS FAMILY AND TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
At the outset I would like to say I have no malice towards individuals who claim to be gay. This article is not meant to bash people who claim to be gay. Rather, it is an attempt to look objectively at the consequences to allowing gay marriage in society.
On February 1, 2005, “The Civil Marriage Act” was introduced by Paul Martin's Liberal government in the Canadian House of Commons. It was passed on June 28, 2005, by the House of Commons and, on July 19, by the Senate. One day later, it received royal consent and Canada became the fourth country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage, nationwide. Conservative Party efforts to have the law re-examined were voted down. Alberta premier, Ralph Klein, called for a national referendum which would allow Canadians the opportunity to express their wishes on this topic. The request was rejected. One of the most serious claims that those who oppose same-sex marriage make is that it destroys families and traditional marriage.
How does same-sex marriage destroy the family and traditional marriage? There are a number of ways. For one, same-sex marriage devalues traditional marriage. The traditional marriage of a man and a woman, joined together in holy matrimony, is a high standard that many Canadians adhere to today. To change this standard by legalizing same-sex marriage weakens and lowers the standard which many have been willing to faithfully uphold. Why does this matter? There has long been a supportive relationship between families and government. They both serve to protect each other. Families fund government with tax revenue, and care for children and dependents who would otherwise have to be cared for by the state. Families also exist for the raising of children with moral values which will be constructive to society. Government in turn is to protect families by governing them well and providing a legal system of protection for them. Government should make laws which help families hold standards high and strengthen them. However, when governments change the very definition of marriage they wound families and attack marriage. Same-sex marriage lowers the standard of marriage and this makes it harder for parents to pass on a standard which is high to their children. It cuts at the values of families and marriage and challenges high values rather than supporting them. It also supports a same-sex model for marriage and family which is fundamentally dysfunctional. How does same sex-marriage wound families? It gives official government licence to the idea that children do not need to be raised by a mother and a father.
Same-sex families place children in a home which is highly unstable. The hard facts about same-sex relationships are that they are usually short-lived and highly unstable. This type of union does not provide the satisfaction and fulfillment that people are searching for and statistics bear this out. One study shows that 60% of male homosexual relationships last less than one year and that most lesbian relationships last under three years. 1 Same-sex relationships are rarely marked by faithful commitment. Gay psychiatrist and psychologist couple, McWhirter and Mattison, set out to disprove the claim that gay relationships usually don't last. They did a study of 156 couples who had been together between one and thirty-five years. They found that only seven had been able to achieve sexual fidelity and of those seven, none had been together more than five years. In other words, out of 156 couples there was no couple who had been faithful to their partner beyond five years.2 A study conducted by M. Pollak, “In Western Sexuality: Practice and Precept in the Past and Present Times” concluded that most homosexual partnerships did not last beyond two years. 3 Homosexual relationships are this unstable because they are dysfunctional by nature. How can it be right to place a child in a family situation as unstable as this?
As well as homosexual relationships being less stable for a home environment, there is research showing that they are generally more abusive than heterosexually married households. A study done in “Journal of Interpersonal Violence” reported a study which showed that 90% of lesbians surveyed said that they had been the recipients of one or more acts of verbal aggression from their partners with 31% admitting to there being physical abuse in the relationship. 4 In their book, “Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them,” D. Island and P. Letellier claim that domestic violence is almost twice as great among gay men than it is among those in the heterosexual population. 5 The United States Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, reports that women in traditional families are subject to the least amount of abuse as compared to women in other kinds of relationships. 6 Should children be brought into same-sex homes when studies like these have shown them to be more abusive?
By legalizing same-sex marriage, the door has been opened to challenge other aspects of marriage law. Winston Blackmore and James Oler are a part of a cult which is an off-shoot of the Mormon Church. They have been accused of being married to more than one wife, a crime in Canada, punishable by a maximum of five years in prison. There have been a couple of court appearances but, as of this writing (July 2011), the case remains unsettled. Blackmore's lawyer argues that marriage laws have changed, referring to same-sex marriage. 7 The question can be asked, “If marriage can be changed to accommodate the homosexual community, why can't it be changed to accommodate other models such as polygamy?” It is allowed for Muslims in many countries practice polygamy. What will the changing of the law on marriage in Canada potentially mean for those who are looking for legal support for polygamy?
Adoption by same-sex couples will probably also lead to supporting reproductive technologies such as artificial insemination, which is the only way for gay people to reproduce from themselves a biological child. They may claim this as a victory for their own personal rights but how is this better for their child, being born into a family, without having both a mother and a father?
By giving same-sex marriage legal acceptance the door is opened for other forms of communication that will start trumpeting this acceptance, such as children's books, films, entertainment, etc. This will be in the face of the larger straight society but we won't have legal grounds to stop its influence. Acceptance of the gay lifestyle will be expected as a part of being a good citizen even though it goes against the values of millions. Canadian families and Canadian marriages are too important to have them shattered by same-sex legalization. For these reasons, same-sex marriage should be overturned in our nation. By supporting the dysfunctional union of same-sex partners, our country is undermining families and opening the door for the parenting of children and raising of children in extremely unstable circumstances.
Is it unloving to challenge the same-sex lifestyle and same-sex marriage? No. It is unloving to condone behavior which the Bible and professional psycological studies show are unstable and dysfunctional. Research shows huge percentages of homosexual relationships being short-lived. Research speaks to abuse being unproportionately higher in homosexual relationships than in heterosexual relationships. Such professional research only confirms what the Bible says about the homosexual lifestyle being cursed. It says in the Scripture; “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." (Leviticus 18.22). Love brings a warning to those participating in a dysfunctional lifestyle and calls them to a better way. Love protects children from being raised in such dysfunctional homes. Love defends traditional marriage and family. May love prevail in our great land.
D. J. West, Homosexuality Re-examined (London: Duckworth, 1977).
D. P. McWhirter and A. M. Mattison, The Male Couple (Englewood Cliffs: Prentice Hall, 1984).
M. Pollak, “ Male Homosexuality” in Western Sexuality : Practice and Precept in Past and Present Times, Ed. P. Aries and A. Bejin, translated by Anthony Forster (New York: B. Blackwell, 1985), 40-61.
Lettie L. Lockhart, et al, “Letting out the Secret : Violence in Lesbian Relationships” Journal of Interpersonal Violence 9 (1994) : 469-492.
D. Island and P. Letellier, Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them : Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence (New York: Haworth Press, 1991), 14.
“Violence Between Intimates,” Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings November 1994, 2.
“B. C. fundamentalist Mormon leaders in court today on polygamy charges” The Vancouver Sun, January 21, 2009.
“Violence Between Intimates.” Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings, Nov. 1994, 2.
Hainsworth, Jeremy. “Polygamist's defense cites gay marriage.” The Associated Press, Jan. 22, 2009.
Island D. and P. Letellier. Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them : Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence. New York: Haworth Press, 1991.
Lockhart, Lettie L. et al, “Letting out the Secret : Violence in Lesbian Relationships.”
Journal of Interpersonal Violence 9 (1994) : 469-492.
McWhirter, D. P. and A. M. Mattison. The Male Couple. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice Hall, 1984.
Pollak, M. “ Male Homosexuality” in Western Sexuality : Practice and Precept in Past and Present Times. Ed. P. Aries and A. Bejin, translated by Anthony Forster.
New York: B. Blackwell, 1985.
Scriptures taken from the King James Bible.